10 Tips for Navigating Christmas After Divorce

Let's dive right in!

1. Put down your phone / stop the doom scrolling!

The comparison trap literally never helps. If seeing “happy families” plastered across your screen is painful, stop looking! It could be photos of other families on social media or your own “memories” popping up from earlier years—decorating the tree together, trips to the in-laws, etc.

Whether you’re still feeling raw or more settled in your new normal, limiting phone time around the holidays can be a lifesaver. Don’t let technology add extra reminders of old triggers. Take a break.

2. Let yourself feel ALL your feels

Yep, even the uncomfortable ones. The holidays are packed with memories and emotions, and you might be surprised by what comes up.

You might recall warm, cozy moments and grieve that they’re over. Or perhaps tough memories surface, bringing relief or a chance to process past trauma.

Process what comes up without judging it—it’s part of the healing. Let the feelings move through you. Processing emotions now makes it easier to move forward later.

3. Go easy on (or skip!) the booze

It might seem like it “adds to the festive spirit,” but it actually messes with your sleep, amps up anxiety, and drags down emotional regulation.

I’m not here to preach, but if you’re looking for things that actually help during a post-divorce Christmas, stepping back from the booze is a solid move. You can still have fun with it though! Use a fancy glass, make a mocktail, etc. You can ditch the negative effects of the booze without ditching the celebratory feel. (I'm a big fan of "Nozeco", a 0% prosecco)

P.S. Want support on this? I know a fab sobriety coach named Christine, and you can find her website at www.yoursoberpath.co.uk.

4. Prioritise your basic needs

Yes, enjoy the holiday treats, but don’t forget to drink water, get real nutrients, and focus on sleep. You are much more present for your kids and everyone else when your basic needs are met. I know this one sounds boring. But honestly, the more I focus on my basic needs, the better life gets. Especially sleep. I am noticeably snappier with my kids when I am short on sleep. Boring, maybe, but so worth it.

Turn off Netflix and actually go to bed!

5. Say no to things you don’t want to do

It’s tempting to say “yes” out of guilt or expectation, but think of this as a permission slip to opt-out. Don’t show up just to keep others happy.

Protect your peace, even if others don’t understand. Spend your energy on what truly matters to you this season.

6. Move your body in ways that feel good

Intentional movement—even just a little—can shift stagnant energy and help re-regulate your nervous system.

Fun fact: intentional movement balances your cortisol and serotonin, making you feel lighter and more grounded.

So go for a walk, a boxing class, yoga, or sex 🔥—just move your body!

7. Dance party!

Have little dance parties as frequently as possible! On your own, or drag whoever is in the house to join you. Dance like a pro or dance like a fool. Dance slow and sensual, or dance big and wild—it doesn’t matter. Let loose, move to the music, and feel a real shift in mood.

8. Avoid the ex-talk trap

If you’re with your family and friends and they’re still feeling angry about your divorce (my goodness, our people have a lot of feels about our relationships, don’t they?!) and want to shit talk your ex - don’t let yourself get pulled in. A bit of venting is fine, but don’t let it drag you back into anger and frustration. When someone starts with, “What an asshole!” try a gentle shift: “Let’s save that for another day. I love your support, but I want today to be light.”

Focus on the joy around you and moving forward.

9. Lean into gratitude

Cliché, yes, but it is so powerful! Gratitude is the antidote for lack. When you’re caught up in what’s missing or feeling like “less than,” lean in to gratitude. Jot it down in your journal, a list in your phone, or text it to a friend who “gets it”. Pause, look around you, and force yourself to think of at least 5 things you’re grateful for. Be as specific as possible. And if you can, keep going, list more.

It’s so simple, and yet catches me out every time, just how effective actively practicing gratitude is. Game changer.

10. Remember—this will pass

Yes, this is an actionable point. I want you to actively remember - this will pass! The holidays can be intense, but they’re just a season. As poet Rainer Maria Rilke wrote,

“Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final.”

This might be your first Christmas post-divorce, but it will be over soon. And then you’ll do the second. And the third. And each one will change and be different again. Just keep going.

These tips aren’t a “must-do” checklist, and you’ll find your own rhythm over time. Take what feels right, leave what doesn’t, and remember that however you navigate this season is enough.

You’re doing great, and I’m sending you so much love!